… is the title of an essay written by the American psychologist and philosopher William James in 1899.
At its core stands the assumption that we, as beings endowed with rich inner worlds and workings, often fail to fully grasp that whoever we meet is a fully realized world themselves.
125 years later, the notion still stands and can easily be observed by how we humans treat each other in our daily dealings.
Anyone who knows me or follows me on any platform is aware that I hold stories to be one of the most fundamental aspects of the human experience. It usually poses no problem for us to consider and live the emotional journeys of characters.
Characters in sitcoms have the capacity to move some people to tears, for crying out loud!
And yet, our mental images of the geography of other souls and lives often remain rather sketchy. A handy survival mechanism, for the overload of information would surely drive people insane.
It would also conjure up all sorts of moral quandaries. How can you survive in a sometimes-harsh world while pondering the implications your actions have on any individual you meet?
Sometimes, our ignorance is more than bliss. It is a necessity. Knowing and feeling all could be a road to madness.
And yet, I get the impression that in our efforts to protect our sanity and feelings, we have collectively gone too far, reducing others to mere functions in our lives or cardboard heroes or villains to be loved or despised, respectively.
Should we not course-correct a tad?
This does not call for being nosy, wanting to find out about every twist of fate any person might have experienced. It simply calls for a shift in attitude, realizing that the story, with all its highs and lows, is there.
Without our knowledge, Oscar-worthy tales are being spun.
As we slowly approach the weekend, I am therefore asking you to extend the interest and empathy usually reserved for your most beloved – maybe even lovingly hated – fictional characters to more people in your life.
Don’t ask questions, just assume an attitude of curiosity. Maybe spend one minute longer with a person, listen actively and your private and professional life will become richer.
There is no need to get all feely, Jim from accounting (random choice, sorry to all the Jims) might still seem like a douche to you, but he will be a more complete, more interesting douche. And I bet, overall, there will be many pleasant surprises to be found.